5 Boundaries I've Set As A Mom To Reclaim My Time

Hi there.

In case you don’t know…motherhood can be relentless. If you hold the position of “mom” in any fashion, you know what I mean by that. There’s always more to do, someone needs one more thing, you forgot to do something, annnnd your lists are ever-expanding.

Feel me?!!

My mom use to watch me push myself to the max & do, do, do for my family. I’d repeat this to my detriment & then complain about not having any time to myself. She looked at me one day & said “motherhood is not gonna give you time to yourself, you have to take it.”

Bammm.

Boom.

Bingo.

Her words hit me like a bolt of lightning. It all clicked & just made sense. My mom has given me many words of wisdom through the years but this was one of those monumental moments. Those aha moments people speak of.

Of course, it took time to get out of the do, do, do, rut but I eventually learned what I wanted, needed, & how to set boundaries to reclaim my time.

Quiet Mornings

I’m naturally a night owl but as I got older, super late nights became the enemy. I can no longer go to bed late, wake up early, & function properly throughout the day. Parents have busy days & we need energy (plus sanity!) to make them successful.

I learned to greater appreciate silence while enjoying my coffee, reading, praying, or doing nothing at all to start the day. Early mornings allow me to center my thoughts & get focused on the day’s tasks.

Stop Short-Order Cooking

Listen… children will have you in the kitchen all day making 19 different things (at once) if you let them. No ma’am. Give them a couple of choices. And that’s it. Or, make what you’re going to make for the family. And that’s it.

Let them know early on that you’re not cooking different meals for everyone. If you have picky eaters, it’s fine to include things you know they’ll eat. Just don’t let them control the narrative. Set the boundary & they’ll learn to respect it.

When I’m Done, I’m Done

I now live by my evening cut off time. Once dinner is done, I make sure everyone is full & ask if they need something more. Once food & dishes are put away, counters are wiped, & the light goes off, that’s it. Mama is done! Don’t ask me for another thing that isn’t dire.

Solo Shower Time

One day I told my daughters NOT to interrupt my showers unless there’s an emergency. I then explained exactly what that meant. I made rules for them concerning things they can/cannot touch or do while I’m in the bathroom.

The shower is where I let everything wash away. Stresses, worries, & frustrations meet their doom down the drain. I can sing along with my favorite songs, dance as sexily as I want, or simply listen to the flow of the water. It’s mesmerizing. I don’t play about my showers.

Going Places Alone

I have to admit, going places without my daughters feels strange. I’ve had them with me every moment for years. When they both started attending school & I had to grocery shop alone, I almost cried.

Then I tasted the freedom I hadn’t had in years. The ability to browse at my leisure, indulge in treats without sharing, try on clothes alone, etc. It was heaven.

My daughters have always been well behaved when we’re out & I can do anything while they’re with me. However, there’s just something about doing it alone that’s therapeutic.

This is one thing I highly recommend you do for yourself.

Lastly…

Use my boundries to help you set your own. They’re definitely needed & don’t allow anyone to tell you differently. Setting boundaries is essential in all parts of life but because we love our children/family so much, we give of ourselves without refilling. That only leads to burn out, overwhelm, & resentment.

Which tip resonates most with you? Or, which one(s) do you already implement in your daily life?